Carina Frei: My supposed failure was essential for my career

Carina:
My name is Carina Frei, I am a coach and keynote speaker on the topics of high performance and female empowerment. I am also the founder of Push up your Business and the author of “Die Gründerbibel” (“The Founder’s Bible”), the most comprehensive standard work for self-employed people and entrepreneurs.

Carina:
I found the courage to follow my passion relatively late in my life. Like many other women, I sabotaged myself through instilled and learned beliefs. After graduating from high school, I learned a typical safe “women’s job”, but realized relatively quickly that this wasn’t my path. My actual journey started when I moved to Cologne and studied acting. I started doing presence and empowerment workshops, voice training, etc. I then decided against an acting career to start a family. And then came the biggest change in my life, heralding a real upheaval. I got postnatal depression, felt torn between wanting to be a good mom and building a new career at the same time. The experiences from this time led to me dealing intensively with personality development, that I expanding my training to include mental training, completing my studies in psychology of personal growth at Hong Kong University, stress ­management, change ­management. And this is how my coaching business finally grew.

Carina:
So my low point was certainly when I had to admit that just being a mom wasn’t fulfilling for me. I felt like I had completely given up on myself. That was shocking for me, because unfortunately we women are still often taught that this is our destiny and our absolute fulfillment: having children. Ambitious women who want both a child and a career unfortunately face a lot of difficulties. Recognizing this and admitting it to myself was my rock bottom moment.

Carina:
I had and still have a few mentors. I think that’s very important. A neutral, supportive view from the outside is important for each of us, not only in business but also in our private lives. I consider coaches and mentors to be helpful and important. What my mentors taught me was that I should expect more from life. That I can stand up for myself and my dreams and have to set boundaries. And that’s what I’m teaching my coachees now, because I think that it’s extremely important.

Carina:
My biggest mistake was not getting help from the very beginning. If I had had a coach by my side from the start, many things would have been quicker and easier. But it’s precisely because of this experience with mistakes and failures, that I can now help my coachees avoid them.

Adi:
If something is meant for me, it will find its way to me. Otherwise it wasn’t meant for me. Therefore, there is no such thing as rejection in my mind. For example, if someone chooses another coach, that doesn’t mean I’m worse, or that my offer is. Coaching is a very personal thing, you have to be on the same wavelength. When I release mental blockages and work on high performance, that’s only possible with a lot of mutual trust and openness. The feeling of rejection always has something to do with our ego. That’s when the self-sabotaging belief “I’m not good enough!” usually rises to the surface. That’s a real killer sentence. Therefore, one should always see rejection rationally.

Carina:
Become the woman you would have needed as a girl. That’s my motto. That’s what I strive for every single day.

Carina:
I struggled with a lot of mental blocks. Negative beliefs, deadlocked behavior patterns … All that has sabotaged me. „I’m not good enough“ is one of the strongest and most ingrained beliefs we have. Overcoming that has been a big challenge. I’ve noticed that within myself, but I’m also noticing that about my clients.

Carina:
For a very long time I have sought the approval of my parents and have taken their opinion as the measure of all things. That blocked me and prevented me from doing a lot of things. That is why it is very important to me to create a supportive environment for my daughter and to teach her a strong growth mindset.

Carina:
Everything I have experienced, every obstacle, every setback, every struggle and every mistake has brought me to this moment where I am now. My supposed failure was essential for my career. So, no, I’m not looking back. Don’t look back in Anger, as the Oasis puts it song so beautifully. So I don’t really think about what I could/should have done differently.

Carina:
Yes, of course: Don’t blame the white cis-men if things don’t work out for you. You are responsible for your life! Stop whining, put on your big girl pants and send your whiny inner child to the stairs! It’s not up to the „white men“ to give you your place at the table voluntarily, you have to work for it and earn it and confidently take it!

Carina:
Buy the book “Die Gründerbibel” and find a good coach to save a lot of time and energy.

Carina:
I’ve just released my first book “Die Gründerbibel”. Now I am already working on the next book: “The Three Pillars of HIGH PERFORMANCE”, in which I will share my business success tools, such as the success triangle or the ladder of emotions.

Carina:
I’m really good at driving cars. In another life, I’d certainly have become a racing driver.